You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I have fence marks all over my body
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
