She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
