I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
