I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
