sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
