He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
