I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
