One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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