What a fucking waste of an outfit
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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