Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
