i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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