Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
