Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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