I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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