Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
