I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
