no, he came in my armpit
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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