the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
