Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
