Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
