If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
what day is it and did you see me today?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
