He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
