I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
