Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
