I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
there is puke in my bra ... again
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
