Just fell off a train. Bad.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
