I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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