like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I DEMAND FORESKIN
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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