I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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