She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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