I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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