Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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