hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Sober January is a disaster.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
