At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You left your phone here
Wait...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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