god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
