he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I love you. Go after that dick
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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