Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares

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(815): View more from Illinois

This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.

(309): View more from Illinois

Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

How was the birthday sex?

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed

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(303): View more from Colorado

1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.

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