Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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