i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she looked like the before picture.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Never underestimate the power of titties
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
