Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
