and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
