thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
