Even the bartender felt bad for me
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize