I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
