Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
