Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
