your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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