Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
