have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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