If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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